Feng shui is an ancient Chinese art used for thousands of years to evaluate and choose the most auspicious location and way to build a home. Once a home is sited and constructed then there are feng shui principles for the most beneficial way to arrange furniture and decoration. Basic feng shui philosophy contends: if a home is in harmonious surroundings and arranged in an harmonious manner, the inhabitants of that home will reflect that harmony and live more harmonious lives. As we spend at least a third of our day in the bedroom, the bedroom is the most important room of all to apply feng shui .
When I first began my studies of feng shui, many teachers mentioned the three R's of the bedroom - Rest, Rejuvenation and Romance. Of course rest and rejuvenation are the first consideration. When a relationship is new (a year or two), the newness is much like an aphrodisiac. As my mother used to say, "When you are in love, even a park bench is wide enough. After the newness wears off, even a king-size bed might not be big enough."
The Goal is Intimacy
In fact, king-size beds and oversize bedrooms tend to diminish the feelings of intimacy. Just as a bed that is too small or placed up against a wall inhibits free movement and feelings of independence. Keep this in mind when designing your romantic environment. The bed should be in proportion to the room with adequate space to move around it. In addition to rest and rejuvenation the bedroom should also be a place for intimacy.
The King Size Bed Problem
The real problem with most king-sized beds are the two box springs beneath the mattress which inclines each partner to roll away from the center. A similar sense of division that fosters separation is experienced if there is an exposed beam running lengthwise directly over the bed.
If you need to have a king-size bed, replace the double box spring with a wooden platform. Likewise, if there is a beam over the bed try to reposition the bed out from under the beam or cover the beam with fabric. Some feng shui authorities say that putting a large sheet over the double box springs can symbolize unification. Regardless of the size of the bed, if you want to bring passion back into the relationship, try the feng shui technique of placing a large red fabric under the mattress.
Bring Life Into The Bedroom, But Not Too Lively
In designing your bedroom observe the symbolism of wall-hangings and table top objects. All art and objects d'art should be treated with the same consideration.
Avoid negative images like a storm-tossed boat drifting in a foggy ocean or out of place scenes like circus clowns and acrobats. Use pictures that set an intimate mood.
"Hi Mom. Hi Dad"
The family pictures on your side table, belong in a family room, or just not facing the bed - so that you or your partner don't open your eyes after a passionate moment, see your parents photos and think, "Hi Mom. Hi Dad." Do you really want your whole family sitting on your end table watching you make love?
Calming Colors with a Touch of Passion
Some bedrooms are too white as if you are trying to maintain the magic of your wedding night. White is a color of purity. As the dominant color in the bedroom it is too sterile and lifeless. Therefore, white is also considered the color of death.
However with white as the backdrop, color decorations becomes more vibrant. The creative use of color for drapes, lamp shades, throw pillows on the bed or a colorful blanket draped over the arm of a chair would bring life-energy (ch'i) into any size room. Of course you do not want to make the room too lively or rest and intimacy will be lost.
If you do add color to the walls, be sure they are calming colors and those colors that add warmth. Ceilings are often painted white, especially in contrast to color paint on the walls to give a feeling of height. A relatively low ceiling will seem even higher, when crown molding is added. Just don't forget to add a red throw pillow or two, or a to keep the passion alive and well.
Mirror Caution
Large mirror in a bedroom, whether hung on a wall or as sliding closet doors. can also detract from a potentially peaceful and intimate ambiance. Large mirrors, or too many mirrors, bounce light making a quiet room feel too busy. Mirrors also multiply images and can make a bedroom feel very crowded, especially when positioned at the foot of the bed. Mirrors at the foot of the bed, beside being disturbing to sleep, may result in continual arguments and complaining over petty issues as you sit looking at each other and "seeing" what's wrong.
The Wall of Visions and Dreams
Indeed, consider whatever you are looking at will be what you are inspired to talk about and that whatever is on that wall is actually the message of the relationship. If it is TV set, then you will find yourselves talking about "What's on TV tonight, dear." If it is an arrangement of beautiful and romantic art, then you will talk softly to each other and talk about your day's activities and your plans for the future. Perhaps it would help if you think of the wall opposite you as a large canvas for you to represent your visions and dreams upon.
On the other hand, consider if the person on one side of the bed is looking straight ahead through an open bathroom door, and the person on the other side of the bed is looking at a picture of a dolphin jumping in the sunrise. Is one of you saying, "Honey, let's go to Tahiti this year." While the other person, the one looking in the bathroom, is saying, "Crap, we can't spend the money. And by the way, did you remember to do this and did you remember to do that...." Another case of what you see is what you get, that is, what you are inspired to talk about.
Bedside Equality
Evaluate also if you both have equality on either side of the bed? Do you each have enough room to stand up and walk comfortably along side the bed? Or is one of you blocked by obstacles, tripping over clutter, avoiding the sharp edges of a bureau or armoire? Starting or ending a day with these seemingly easy-to-adjust-to minor irritations inevitably gets expressed as nit picky complaints and unexplainable hostile over reactions to petty situation. All of which result in distractions from rest, rejuvenation and romance.
The Ba-gua Template
With the growing interest in feng shui books and classes many people have heard about the Ba-gua Template, which is an a way of dividing a house, or room, using an eight-sided diagram (ba, means eight; gua, means sides). The Ba-gua Template assigns one of Eight Aspirations to an area of the house, property or room. It is a way of evaluating how we unconsciously project meaning to various areas of the house based on the idea that the back of the house is more secure than the front, the left side reflects the more aggressive left side of our brains, while the right side of the home, reflects the more passive and sensitive right side of the brain.
Relationship Corner
The side of the home that relates to Personal Relationships can be evaluated by whatever is located in the far right corner of the house or room as orientated from the wall the front door is on. To define this area, draw a tic-tac-toe board of nine boxes onto the floor plan of the home, or on any specific room.
Most frequently used rooms are of first importance. Evaluating the Relationship Corner of the home would be second in importance. If you live on a piece of property, you can also draw nine boxes, and evaluate what is located in each area.
No One Gets a 100% Perfect Feng Shui
Now remember, no one gets a 100% perfect feng shui. So if there is weakness in one of the important Relationship Corners, perhaps it can be compensated for by the strength in one of the other Relationship Corners. Kind of like acupuncture, sticking a needle in hear and another in there, and getting a positive overall result. But the first step is determining what problems there may be, and then deciding on a strategy that will remedy the situation.
What's Your Feng Shui Message?
Now analyze what items or images are in the Relationship Gua of your home and of each room. Are these items or images positive or negative? If they are negative, you are probably in a difficult relationship, or not in a relationship at all. For instance, is this area of the home missing? Is this where you have a kitty-litter box, trash can or dirty laundry? Is it possible your relationships are being flushed down the toilet? Is there an image of a single woman or man in this area? Is there nothing in these areas? If the answer is "yes" to any of these questions, do whatever possible to change the situation.
If the images are positive, you are probably in a successful, romantic and mutually supportive relationship. Whether positive or negative, you can enhance the Relationship Gua with positive symbolism. Use intimate colors like pinks and pastels, use double images like two ducks, two candlesticks or two angels entwined in love. If this corner of the home is missing, consider what you could put in the outside area that would 'fill' in the space. How about a bird bath with two love birds perched on the rim, a rattan bench for two, or a flower garden?
Energize with Prayer & Affirmation
To further reinforce any of your physical changes consider further activating your positive enhancements with prayers and affirmations. By putting your hands together in prayer (mudra), reciting prayerful affirmations (mantra) and quieting the mind to "see" the results happening (visualization), we attune our Body, Mind and Spirit. In this way we plant the 'seed', we 'water' it and then, as we visualize the results, we begin the process of bringing our Aspirations into manifestation. (See article, How Feng Shui Magic Works.)
Following this course of action will strengthen your existing Personal Relationships, or attract a mate so you too can enjoy romance in your life.
